What does Emmett say?
by Anomaly-Anomaly
Summary: Story is still up purely because I need to beta.
1. Alice

**What does Emmett say?**

**Hey guys this is my first fanfic so… Thanks**

**Disclaimer-I do not own twilight Stephenie Meyer does**

Edward is on a hunting trip and has to leave Bella with Emmett what will the two of them get up to?

I yawned rolling out of bed. "Edward?" I moaned forgetting that he had left on a hunting trip last night. Dang it, Emmett was baby sitting again.

"Hiya!" Emmett yelled in my ear.

I screamed, stupid vampires always being sneaky

.

"Hey Emmett," I sighed.

I grabbed a change of clothes and my bag of toiletries and walked into the bathroom Emmett followed me.

"What are you doing?" he asked going into the bathroom with me.

"I'm going to go." I told him

"Go where?" he asked

"To the bathroom"

"You're already in the bathroom"

"Emmett I have to pee!" I screamed at him.

"Okay…" He probably forgot that we humans had to 'empty our tanks.'

Five minutes later we were sitting in the kitchen.

"Sooo what are we going to do today?" He asked.

"I don't know," I sighed. "Is Alice gone?"

"Yes..." he answered smiling

"So we can prank her, right?"

"Yeah!" Emmett yelled pumping his fist into the air. "Team Emmett and Bella - Bennellett!"** Bella and Emmett's names together **

Five minutes later we were sitting at the Cullen'sdining table.

"So what are we going to do to her?" I asked.

"I know! I know!" Emmett screamed raising his hand.

"Emmett?" I said slowly.

"We can paint her ceiling with nail polish!"

I was silent for a moment. Finally "THAT'S PERFECT!!"

Emmett grabbed me and ran me up the stairs to Alice's room. He went right to work, shuffling through her drawers I had no clue what he was doing but I shrugged and started to open drawers too.

"Found it!" He yelled. I looked over and he was holding a tiny key about as big as a penny.

He ran his fingers across the walls for a couple seconds. "Bella? Can you help me?" He asked.

"With what?" I questioned.

"We need to find a hole."

We ran our hands over the walls.

"Here Emmett!" I told him pointing to a tiny black hole

He inserted the key and turned it, we heard a shift of gears and a part of the wall opened like a sliding door.

"Whoa!" I cried in awe.

Through the door was a medium sized room with walls covered in rows and rows of nail polish in every color.

"This is perfect!" He exclaimed. "She's gotten way more since last time."

I stared upon the rows of nail polish amazed at how many shades there were. They were all sorted by colors reds and pinks made up a whole wall and there was a whole row of black.

"Come on!" I yelled grabbing a couple handfuls of colors. Emmett loaded a small bucket with them and we ran into Alice's room.

"Mwahahahaha!" He laughed as I pulled the small brush off the bottle.

"Emmett grab me a ladder," I told him. He appeared seconds later two ladders in his hands. He set on up in each corner and we went to work. I painted and painted and painted.

"Emmett!" I whined. "It's taking to long!"

I looked over and he was halfway through the room.

"Wow!" I admired.

He looked over at me. "Need help?" He asked, chuckling.

"Why not," I sighed.

He shuffled up the ladder behind me and reached out to paint my side of the roof.

We eventually finished and looked at our work.

"HA!" I yelled pumping my fist in the air.

**Sorry first chappie's kinda lame so review and I might write one for Carlisle**


	2. Carlisle

**I am **_**so**_** sorry for not updating sooner, I was on Vacation for 2 weeks. **_** Then**_** me being well, me. Went and lost my notebook which I had a chapter all written up in. So I finally found it today.**

**Also thanks for reviewing.**

**3daygirl**

**&**

**kittygirliebella101**

**Ill try to list everyone who reviews nicely**

**And Also NO thanks to **

**Seraphania**

**Who wrote a VERY unpleasant review saying my story sucked.**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing except for the Michaels store lady named Jane**

We stood in Carlisle's office.

"Hmm," Emmett muttered. "What for dear Carlisle?"

I paced back and forth, scanning his shelves. Books, Pencils, Pens, post-it notes, scissors, glue…

"Glue!" I yelled. "Let's glue down _everything!"_

"Guineas!" Emmett yelled, doing a little happy dance. I just stared.

"Emmett?" I asked quietly.

He grabbed me and flew down the stairs, out the door, and into the garage, throwing me into the passenger side of his _huge_ jeep. He buckled me down, his hand flying.

We drove for a while, bouncing insanely.

"Where are we going?" I asked him as we finally pulled onto a _real _road.

"A craft store!" He squealed.

I looked at him questionably then decided I didn't want to know.

When we finally pulled into the parking lot Emmett dashed around to the door and helped me out pulling me onto his back so I was in the piggyback position. He then ran –at a human pace- to the entrance of Michales. The entrance lady greeted us at the doorway seeming unsurprised at our odd appearance.

"Hello Emmett!" She said warmly, then turned to me. "And you must be the lovely Rosalie."

I gasped. "N-no," I stuttered. "I'm his brother's fiancée."

"Oh, sorry…"

I sighed. "Emmett lets go."

He walked into the store, then started jogging down the isles.

"Emmett," I squeaked.

"Shush, Bella."

"Emmett." I called again. I was slipping off, further and further toward the hard, cold, concrete floor.

"Ahhh!" I screamed as I completely slipped of.

I moaned.

"Bella! Are you okay?" Emmett cried. "Oh no, a bruise, Edwards gunna kill me!"

"I'm fine, I guess, I won't tell Edward, don't worry."

"Good." Emmett pulled me back to my feet. "Let's go get the glue."

We split up running down separate isles.

"Glue, glue, glue…" I muttered.

"GOT IT!!" I yelled pumping my fists in the air, a few costumers stared.

I shoved the whole shelf into the cart Emmett had given me. I ran back to him as fast as I could, but I tripped in front of the spray paint and that gave me a idea. I loaded my cart with as many red white and blue paint as I could, and made my way –slower this time- to Emmett.

In the car I tried to break the silence.

"Emmett?" I asked cautiously. "How did that lady know you?"

He blushed. "Esme." He muttered.

"Oh." I sighed, falling silent. "Gosh."

At home we made our way back into Carlisle's office shoving everything to the floor. We carefully spread glue on all the bottoms, and stuck them back into place

We left the room giggling to ourselves.

**You'll soon learn about the spray paint!! And Im kinda at a loss of what to do for Rosalie so if you have any ideas review and tell me.**

**Thanks.**


	3. Alice Finds Out Ahhhh

**Okay everyone. Hi ********. Sorry I didn't get to writing sooner, I was camp all week and I'm kinda having writers block.**

**Thank you to**

**kittygirliebella101**

**Dancingchickie-**When life throws you lemons, throw them back and yell "I want Edward Cullen!"

**christinemarie13-**Life is random, well guess what? SO AM I!

**Jennifer Faith**

**3daygirl**

**After you review one I will put a star on for every other review (if their nice)**

As Emmett and I stood in Jaspers study we heard a piercing scream.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no." Emmett muttered. "Alice is home."

My eyes widened as I heard pounding footsteps. The door burst open.

"YOU GUYS DID _NOT_ JUST PAINT _MY_ CELING WITH _MY_ NAIL-POLISH!"

"Yes," Emmett whispered.

"AND THEN GLUE DOWN CARLISILE'S OFFICE?"

"Yes."

"AND WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOUSELVES?"

"We're ugly and have no style or brains."

"AND…"

"We're sorry."

"Okay… so, what are you doing here?"

"We're pranking Jasper!!" I yelled

"Why?"

"Because we have to prank everybody in the house."

"Can I help?"

Emmett and I looked at each other.

"Yes," we said.

"Now," I giggled. "What really gets on Jasper's nerves?"

**So Everyone Please help me with my WB!! Please!! I need Ideas! Mostly for**

**JASPER**

**ROSALIE**

**And **

**EDWARD**


	4. Jasper

**Hey! (I'm just going to put this in) SORRY (Ha Ha I say that a lot) I have no excuse for not writing. I guess I forgot, alright you can drag me over the coals.**

**THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for all the Awesome reviews! **

**And since the star thing didn't show up I'm gunna just put av (!) after all their names.**

kittygirliebella101 (!)

3daygirl (!)

Jennifer Faith

christinemarie13 (!)

dancingchickie (!)

Satta Kurosama

SakuraMoonAngel

Nosuchthingashappilyeverafter (!)

**Look at how many people reviewed twice! It makes me SO happy!**

**I Love You All**

Alice pondered for a second. "Um…" She muttered. "Jazzie's nerves… Oh!" She squeaked. "He hates being called Jazzie!"

"And-" I continued.

"He hates… cat lady's," She sighed. "I know he's going to kill me for telling you. It was supposed to be a secret."

"Awesome!" Emmett muttered evilly.

We set to work. I went and got my red white and blue paint –Alice came with me- and Emmett made a call to the cat lovers club.

Alice and I finished then eavesdropped on his call.

"Hello, this is Emmett Cullen." He said in a phony business manner.

"Hello, Miss Gertrude MacLean." Alice and I looked at each other suppressing laughter.

"Umhm, yes, I would like to host a convention…"

"Yes, here is my email . I will send you a map. Today at 4:00, yes."

"Of course, thank you. Bye."

Emmett silently walked up to the door we were standing by.

"HA!" He shouted, flinging the door open.

"Ahh." I yelled as the door hit my nose. "Dang it."

"Oh no!" Emmett cried. "Edward is going to kill me."

"Calm it Emmett, I just have a bloody nose."

Alice had ran off as soon as the firs drop of blood fell, and she returned now. I could tell that they weren't breathing. Alice handed me a package of Kleenex. I started dabbing my nose.

"Let's not waist time over me," I muttered.

"Fine."

We walked back to Jaspers study and started spray painting his walls. Then we continued with writing 'Jazzie Luv' all over everything.

Now we just needed to wait for the cat ladies.

**I still need help for-**

**ROSALIE**

**And **

**EDWARD**

**( 4 Edward Ill go by whichever Idea is most popular, I don't know how to set up a poll so just tell me which Idea is best in a review.)**

_**Something with his **_

_**CAR**_

_**PIANO**_

_**BELLA**_

_**CD's**_

_**STERIO **_

_**Dankee**_

_**AAVL**_


	5. Esme

**ESME**

As we finished our work on Jasper's room my stomach growled. I silently cursed it.

"Let's go get you lunch," Alice told me.

We walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Alice ran around the kitchen in seconds throwing open every cabinet door exposing shelves and shelves of chicken soup.

My mouth gaped open.

"Oh my… I cant… you shouldn't have… Gosh"

I grabbed a couple cans reading the labels Campbells, Eating healthy, Mrs. Grass.

"Lets get to cooking!" Alice told us. "Emmett," She ordered.

He grabbed an armload of soup and flew up the stairs. Alice followed.

"Um, Alice?" I asked as she returned from her fourth trip


	6. Longer, Esme

**So Im re-posting this, somehow the whole chapter didn't come up I really have a stupid computer… but even so, Im going to post the next chapter after I get 35 reviews so… even if your busy click that little button write one word.**

"Um, Alice?" I asked as she returned from her fourth trip. "Where are you putting all of the food?"

She didn't reply, just grabbed another load and ran up. So I decided to follow her. I walked up the stairs, amazingly not tripping. I walked down the hall as Alice whizzed past me.

I slid through the only open door –the bathroom- and gasped at the sight.

The bathtub was steaming. Emmett punching holes through the top with his pinky finger and empting them into the bathtub.

The smell of soup was overpowering and made me want to gag.

I was suddenly hit by an idea. Mwahahaha.

Baking Soda and Vinegar was the key.

I quick ran into Emmett's room, glad that I had run into his extra explosion kit while looking for my stolen stuff.

The kit was a bright red and orange with flames on either side. I slid it under my shirt and looked in the mirror.

"Ga," I exclaimed. "I look pregnant."

I sighed going back to the bathroom.

"Hey, Emmett," I called. "Don't you think that a can opener would be more helpful?"

He ran out of the room. I knew I only had a couple of seconds before either Emmett or Alice 'saw' me.

I quickly emptied the whole kit out into the stemming soup mess and it started to fizz.

"BOMBS AWAY!" I screamed as I ran out the door, throwing myself into the hall and curled up into a ball in a small corner.

The house shook as the soup bomb exploded. I was covered in a gooey sticky mess.

I about wet myself laughing.

Alice and Emmett appeared at my side in seconds.

"You…" Alice screeched.

I didn't hear anymore because that was when Esme got home.

**YAY A Cliffy! I am so hyper right now it's not even funny! I was going to post this in the morning but you know what? I'm going to be nice! Remember, if you haven't voted DO! Please? **

**Just write down one word at least. PLEASE!**

**Car**

**Bella**

**Stereo**

**CD**

**or**

**Piano **

**Love,**

**AAVL**

**Also Big thanks to **RainbowCrayon **who writes AWESOME stories**


	7. Carlisles Wrath

**And so the votes stand thus-**

**Bella-VIII**

**Car-X**

**Piano-II**

**Cd-V**

**Stereo- O**

**If you don't know how to read roman numerals I-1 V-5 X-10**

**Anyhoo, I love you all**

Alice, Jasper, Emmett and I stood around the table.

Jasper and Alice had worried expressions, Emmett just looked goofy. It was time for Carlisle to come home.

We heard the door open.

"Hello children." He called.

Luckily the one place our soup hadn't spilled was the front hall. Carlisle walked into the soup covered kitchen.

"What the…" He exclaimed. "Esme is going to get you for this."

I grinned, "We know, she already did."

"Well, I'm surprised you're still alive."

Carlisle picked up his briefcase and walked upstairs. A second later I was on Jaspers back flying up the stairs and to the open door of Carlisle's office. I slid down peering around the corner. Carlisle was sitting at his desk pulling out a couple pages from a folder he reached over to pick up a pencil. It wouldn't move. He yanked on it but the super glue held. He yanked on it one more time and pulled the pencil up a bit of the desk still attached to it. He looked horrified at what he had done.

"Esme's going to kill me." He muttered, carefully placing it back into the hole he had made.

I couldn't hold back my laugh.

"HA HA HA!" I laughed out, "HA HA HA!"

Alice, Jasper, and Emmett joined in. Pretty soon we were on the floor.

Carlisle took one look and ended up with us.

Starheartswirly

woewoe

JacobXHatersXAnonymous

Sea of Topaz

bichonluvr

Heather Marie Cullen

Nosuchthingashappilyeveraft...

Nosuchthingashappilyeveraft...

i.wish.i.dream.

marinasensei

edwardbellaforever

3daygirl

Sienna Rhiannon Chase

LiveLaughLoveSwim

debbie-lou

Firegem1996

Firegem1996

Firegem1996

Firegem1996

christinemarie13

Firegem1996

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Firegem1996

Firegem1996

emmy-and-jazz-rule

Natalie-taliena

SakuraMoonAngel

3daygirl

CampRockObsessiveFangirl

fantasyfan7

Starheartswirly

iwillruletheworld13

3daygirl

TheBeatleschick


	8. Important Notice DO NOT SKIP

**IMPORTANT NOTICE**

**Midnight Sun **_**has been canceled. **_**I am telling you this because I think **_**everyone **_**has a right to know. Midnight Sun was illegally posted on the internet and Stephenie Meyer has decided to not finish it. **

**If you can, put this in your story and/or profile. **

**Stephenie Meyer has posted part of it on her website the link is **

/pdf/midnightsunpartialdraft3.pdf

**Please forgive me for the AN but the new has to be spread.**

**I love you all,**

**AAVL**


	9. Rosalie

Rosalie flew into the backyard.

"Emmett!" She screamed.

I started to laugh. "It's a joke Rose," I gasped.

We dug Emmett up.

And then we started plotting for Edward


	10. Flashback

**I am sorry again for not writing, homework is overloading and I've been at camp all weekend, there's no way I'm going to be able to update other than Fridays. Sorry but there's just no way around it. **

**I've decided not to list ALL the name of my wonderful fans –who I love- So Ive decided I'll post the person with the best review!**

I sat again and remember Rosalie's prank.

_Flashback_

As it turned out Carlisle was a very good schemer, I found it surprising because of his 'good, goody doctor' façade.

As we sat –Esme frowning, Alice giggling, Jasper smirking, Emmett making funny faces and I laughing at him.- Carlisle spoke.

"Burn. Emmett."

I stared at him suspiciously and then I got it.

"YES!" I yelled.

Carlisle jumped over to my seat flung me on his back and we flew into the backyard.

Carlisle darted back inside and returned with a box of matches and a bottle of purple perfume.

I raised my eyes in question.

He didn't speak, just quickly gathered wood and stacked it into a pile, he started a fire and held the bottle of perfume out to me.

"You'll do the honors?"

I took the bottle.

Jasper, Emmett, Esme, and Alice walked out.

"Emmett first," Esme told us.

Jasper quickly dug a hole and shoved Emmett down it, then piled the dirt back in.

"Three, two, one…" Alice counted down.

I flung the purple perfume into the fire and started to laugh manically screaming.

"DIE EMMETT, BURN! MWAHAHAHA!!"

**YAY! I finished! I'm so tired it's not even funny. **

**And be warned that I **_**will not **_**post again until I have 80 reviews so push that little, Gray-blue-purple-white button. Please! **

**And if I get over 100 Ill post 'EDWARD' right away.**

**Love you all,**

**AAVL**


	11. MNS joy!

OME!! (oh my Edward)

I have just been told by way of reviews that MIDNIGHT SUN _has not_ been eternally halted it has been put on hold!! OME OME I AM SO HAPPY!! I know all of you h8 authers notes but you know what?! I just had to share my joy!!  
I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!! WOOOHOOOO Anyway if anywho if you have written a Twilight Truth of Dare Send me a review telling me and Ill read it! Please make it to 100 guys!! Please!! I already have it written. And I want to post the whole thing…


	12. Eddward I

**LOVE YOU ALL! I am so HAPPY Everyone had really nice reviews except for one person. Remember I'll post 'Edward's great Surprise' After 100 reviews because that might –keyword might- be the last chapter. Unless I decide to prank Mike or Charlie, Which might, or might not happen so be hopeful. **

At long last we set to work. We as in Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, and I. Carlisle and

Esme had nothing to do with this, they said the wanted to live to a ripe old age, we found that quite funny.

I made the call to Jacob as I sped back to my house in Alice's Porsche, Alice, of course, was driving.

"Hello, Jacob." I said as he picked up.

"Um… hello?" He trailed.

"It's Bella."

"Bella!" He sounded so excited.

"Jacob. Will you kiss me?"

**I was thinking about ending here. But decided I'd rather not torture you so.**

"Y-y-yes… _Again_? Why?"

"I wanted to prank Edward and I though you'd want the excuse." I cursed myself mentally for hurting him like this.

"Of course, let that bloodsucker pay for his business! Let's get him!"

"Okay, meet me at my house in fifteen minutes, drive, please?"

"Sure, sure…"

"Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up, wiping the sweat from my brow. "Gosh." I muttered.

Alice was laughing silently; I was positive if she could, she'd be crying.

We got to my house and started preparing for the movie. Alice helped me get dressed, putting me in a small brown tank-top and blue jeans. I wore no makeup.

I heard the bell ring and quickly walked down to open the door. I managed to trip down the stairs.

As soon as Jacob saw me he pulled me into a tight hug and put his face in my hair.

"_Jake_." I scolded.

"What?"

I sighed and led him into the kitchen. I whispered to him what he had to do and beckoned Alice to come in. She held up her camera and mouthed "Three… two…one."

I turned to the sink, pretending to be doing the dishes when Jacob 'crept' up to me.

"Jake!" I gasped.

Jacob stared at me for a moment, I pretended to be dazzled.

"Jacob, kiss me." I muttered.

Jake grabbed me and before I knew it we were together. My fingers knotted in his hair and his in mine.

We stayed like that for a long time until he made to break away. Just as planned I begged him to kiss me again.

This was working perfectly!

As we broke apart for the last time Alice shut off the camera.

"Perfect!" she cheered, "Edward's going to be furious!"

Emmett installed the information into his Stereo's screen, the TV, his car, and his computer.

Rosalie painted her nails, and Jasper was going to make Edward have a 'need' for TV.

This was going to be good.

**The winner for the funniest review is…**


	13. Edward II

**Okay hello to all you patient folk, Sorry- again- for not posting sooner, I had HUGE writers block and it was really hard to finish. I love you all 103 reviews is a total record for me saying this was my first Fanfic. (My other story doesn't count, it was stupid and my friend made me post it; everyone hates it-sniff-) This may be the last chapter unless I get demands for more, Then Mike, Charlie and one lucky reviewer might get a surprise. **

Edward's Point Of View

I sped down the lane leading to our house in my beautiful, wonderful, perfect, shiny, silver Volvo. But as I drove I became suspicious.

_Eddie's almost home. _Emmett thought. _Oh, I love you, you love me…_

I moved on quickly.

Jasper had sung, _you get the best of both world, chill it out-_

Alice had translated the telephone song into Spanish- _hola, may llamo alice, mi numro di telephono…_

Wow…

Bella POV

He was coming home, He was coming home! I couldn't wait to get him. I had everything perfect. Alice had given me a makeover to kill time and Emmett and Jasper were wrestling in the backyard.

I heard the purr of the Volvo and started to squirm.

Edward walked into the house and walked into his room, I heard the computer booting up.

Alice picked me up and carried me to his door, peering through the crack. His lips became a tight line as he saw Jacob come up behind me and when I started to kiss him

Edward slammed a finger down on the mouse and it broke into a million pieces.

Alice quickly dashed me down to the living room as Edward plopped down on the sofa and flipped on the TV.

"Mmm," I heard myself moan on the television. "Jake… stay."

Edward punched a hole through the screen and buried his head in his hands. When he looked up he had tears streaming down his face.

I gasped, vampires couldn't cry!

I ran over to him.

"Edward, I'm sorry." I cried.

"B-but you l-love t-the dog," He stuttered.

I brought his face up to mine and touched his lips. "It was only a prank." I whispered.

I felt his lips turn up and he pushed me away.

He started to laugh, "Gotcha!"

**To enter for the reviewer chapter you must fill out your name and gender so I can adequately prank you. Also you're more likely to win if you have the most personality. And the winner of today's funniest review is** **xTwilightForeverx****-omg i can just see edwards reactio i think it is a sick and crul prank  
I LOVE IT LOL  
repost soon please**

**Please review 3 3 3**

**--**

**AAVl**


	14. Bored

**Kay, sorry for the really short chapter and the really long wait I had bad WB and absolutely no time. It stinks! I am so sad. ******

Everyone was home and we were bored as doorknobs, I mean it wasn't even funny how dull it was.

Emmett sighed and scooted closer to the TV picking up a Wii remote he opened to the Mii screen and clicked on New mii.

He started to make a short boy. Mike Newton.

Then I got it. We'd prank Mike.

**If you are in the running for the reviewer chapter you may have received a review in one of your stories from me telling you, and a couple of you just got reviews because your story was so good. So if you have any stories just review me to read them and I'll try to get to them. Remember I need your name and gender to prank you so send those reviews in! Love you all,**

**AAVl**


	15. Eye Em

**Okay, as you all know I am having HUGE writers block and can't think of anything to do to Mike, plus not enough people R going 4 the reviewer chapter which makes me sad –sniff- So I decided you needed something and this is an AIM with the cullens.**

Emmett- BuffytheGrizzlySlayer

Edward - Loviewoviekinz

Bella- URdeaf2me

Jacob- HowlerMonkey

Paul- I.DO.NOT.HAVE.ANGER.ISSUES

Jane- Lookmeintheeye

Alec- IluvBella

BuffytheGrizzlySlayer: Yo Bella Lyk I Rox!

URdeaf2me:Lyk u rox my sox off

Loviewoviekinz: I thought _I _roxed your sox off 

URdeaf2me: you did, but then Emmett became my VFGFWIL…KO.

BuffyTheGrizzlySlayer: What?

Loviewoviekinz: She means Very Best Guyfriend Who I love…Kind of

BuffyTheGrizzlySlayer: how on earth did you know that?

Loviewoviekinz: I listen to her sleep

URdeaf2me: _HELLO IM STILL HERE!_

I.DO.NOT.HAVE.ANGER.ISSUES: Dude, why R U Vamps here?

Loviewoviekinz: why are _you _here?

I.DO.NOT.HAVE.ANGER.ISSUES: Jake said he'd meet me here.

URdeaf2me: Jacob? When?

Howlermonkey: Yo yo yo my name is joe, hay hay hay that's okay. Moo I have a shoe

BuffyTheGrizzlySlayer: …

URdeaf2me: …

I.DO.NOT.HAVE.ANGER.ISSUES: …

Loviewoviekinz: …

BuffyTheGrizzlySlayer and Loviewoviekinz have left chatroom

URdeaf2me: Jake, that is so a century ago.

I.DO.NOT.HAVE.ANGER.ISSUES: Where the heck did that come from?

URdeaf2me: Carlisle says it…

Howlermonkey: Bella, yo, how's Eddy?

URdeaf2me: Fine

Howlermonkey: Okay, so… have you changed your mind?

Iluvbella: Hello Bella I love you so much! 

URdeaf2me: um, who R U?

Lookmeintheeye: Shut up Alec

Iluvbella: Butbutbut I _love_ her.

Lookmeintheeye: How dare you love a human!

Howlermonkey: How day you love my Bella!

URdeaf2me: How dare you love me!

I.DO.NOT.HAVE.ANGER.ISSUES: LOVE HER! LOVE HER! LOVE HER!

All: Shut up Paul

**Okay, so please review! PLEESE!!**

**--**

**AAVl**


	16. Mike gets it good

**I was walking around today when all of a sudden an idea struck me, I got it!**

I picked up the phone, my fingers hesitating above the buttons.

"Do it!" Emmett yelled.

Edward squeezed my hand.

I dialed.

"Hello?" Mike asked.

"It's Bella." I tried insanely not to burst out laughing.

"Hey, why are you calling?"

"I wanted to know if you want to go to Michaels with me babe."

Alice had her hand clamped over her mouth and Edward was on the floor rolling around like an idiot.

"I-I…ah…y-yes…"He stammered.

"Kay, sweet-thang, meetcha there."

I slammed the phone down, "Shoot, shoot, shoot." I muttered wondering what I had gotten myself into. I handed the phone to Edward, he didn't hesitate in punching in Jessica's number.

"Hello Jessica," I heard him say. "Yes, I broke up with Bella yesterday." He winked at me.

"I was wondering if you would like to go shopping with me."

He grinned. "Of course, love. Bye"

He hung up.

We looked at each other and he kissed me as we pulled on our jackets.

I climbed into Rosalie's red BMW M3 convertible that she had let me borrow for this one time only and carefully pulled out of the long drive, Edward sped past me in his Aston Martin V12 Vanquish, ignoring the speed limit as usual.

When I met Mike at his house he stared at the bright red convertible I was sitting in and I quietly thanked Rosalie.

I also was glad that this was the time that Alice decided to give me another makeover; I think she still didn't quite forgive me about the nail polish because she drowned me in beauty products, my eyes where so covered I looked more like a raccoon than me. Mike approved though the shorts I was wearing showed a little too much.

He climbed into the car.

"Hey babe," I winked at him.

"So…" He trilled, 'What brought this on?"

"Edward dumped me." I said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh…sorry"

I giggled and he looked at me funny.

We arrived at Michaels two minutes later.

In the parking lot I spied Alice's yellow Porsche. I grinned.

As we walked through the door I grabbed Mike's hand, swinging it between us. He looked at the sparkling heart and the wolf attached to my silver bracelet and I could see the jealousy on his face, I walked over to the Halloween costumes.

"Hey Mikey," I called, grabbing a boa and wrapping it around my neck, I then threw on a pair of sunglasses and pranced around for a while.

Next I threw a pair of vampire fangs and a cape to Mike.

"I LIKE MY ME COLD AND DEAD!" I screamed when he wouldn't put them on.

I ran outside sobbing, crawled into Rose's convertible and sped off leaving Mike standing at the front of the store

EDWARD MASON CULLEN'S POINT OF VIEW

How on earth had they talked me into this, I never would have agreed if Bella hadn't already. Sigh. I sped past Bella in my Vanquish on my way to Jessica's. I pulled into her driveway and she stared at my beautiful, perfect, wonderful car. She climbed in.

"Hello Jessica," I said making sure to –what Bella would say- dazzle her.

"H-hi," she stuttered.

"So Jess how is Mike?" I asked.

She huffed, "He dumped me for Bella, that boy stealing witch."

It took all I had not to hit her right then. I ground my teeth together.

I parked in the Michaels parking lot, I saw Bella skid out of the parking lot laughing hysterically. I could hear Mike's thoughts.

_How could she leave me here! Why the heck did she try to dress me us as a __**vampire**_**!**Etc.

I chuckled, she was good.

I led Jessica into the store and went straight to the glue isle. I had everything all planed out.

"These things fascinate me," I lied. Picking up a bottle of Elmers school glue I looked at it lovingly. "These bottles are so convenient you just squeeze…" I squeezed the bottle and stuck the tip in my mouth. "Yum…" I moaned.

_What the heck is he doing? He's acting like a kindergartener!_

I sat down cross-legged sucking the glue bottle like a baby. I held the glue out to her.

_Oh, no, I'm not eating that_ she thought.

I got up and squirted the glue in her face.

I ran out laughing hysterically.

Bye bye Jessica.

**So yeah, Please, Please sign up 4 the ****Reviewer chapter **** also read my new story Past Present and future. Please review, If you have a story review me with its title and ill read it! **

**--**

**AAVl**


	17. Charlie

**And the reviewer chapter is… -drum roll-…not finished. Sorry but here's Charlie.**

**Disclaimer: I **_**do not**_** own Twilight –sob-**

We had all planed exactly what to do, Rose was running to the store to pick up a overriding set, Edward was getting the video camera, and the rest of us were writing the scripts.

The door flew open and Edward and Rosalie stood in front of us.

Emmett and Alice went to work.

Thank the lucky stars Edward had a year of computer tech.

A couple hours later we were hiding strategically in my house when Charlie got home from work. He slumped down on the couch and clicked the remote.

"Hello and welcome to Kare Cullen news," soprano bells trilled. A small black haired girl next to a tall brawny man introduced themselves as Alec and Emma. I could barely hold in my laughter.

"What the…" Charlie whispered, almost driving me over the edge.

He flipped channels and wrestling came on. Emmett was under Alice as she punched his head.

He flipped again, Emmett was chopping vegetables in – what I knew to be- the Cullen's kitchen.

Again and again he changed all forty channels where re-done Cullen style. Suite life of Allie and Ellie, iemmett, That's So Alice, etc.

I was on the floor again and Edward's hand was covering my mouth muffling the shrieks of laughter exploding out of my lips. I didn't think Charlie would notice if a bomb dropped on the house, he was staring, mouth open, at the TV.

"Oh. My. Gosh." I heard him whisper.

**Sorry 4 the short chapter but I wasn't that inspired, I didn't get very many new reviews –sob- Please I need 150 before I do the reviewer chapter and right now I'm not really sure who's going 2 be the star so u might as well try out, remember I need your name and gender (and whether you're Teen Child or adult if your comfortable with that) **


	18. Gosh U Guys

**Hello, I know it's been ages since I've wrote anything but my life is so busy right now. Plus you guys haven't reviewed enough! So, to inspire you Here is a Preview.**

I walked up to my room and see a short, spiky, black-haired girl standing over a small brown haired form flat on the floor, a large male stands to the side clutching his sides shaking in silent laughter.

"What's going on?" I ask.

They freeze.

**So, MWAHAHAHA you'll have to review to get the rest.**

**I can always change the name so ****ReViEw To EnTeR **

**PlUs ItS sTrAnGeLy AmMuSiNg To WrItE lIkE tHiS!!!!**

**LoVe YoU aLl,**

**AaVl**


	19. The Prank

**Here is the Might be finally of the one and only WHAT DOES EMMETT SAY!**

**Thank you to all you reviewed. YOU ROCK!**

Your parents were on a cruise for the weekend and you were home alone, when you heard a crash.

"Shoot!" You hear an alto voice exclaim.

"Shush." A man whispered.

You walk up to your room and you see a short, spiky, black-haired girl standing over a small brown haired form flat on the floor, a large male stands to the side clutching his sides shaking in silent laughter.

"What's going on?" You ask.

They freeze.

**Okay so I know its stupid how not a certain person won and I know you all hate me but you all rock my sox off and I COULDN'T choose so I hope this makes you –at least- a little bit happy (Sorry)**

"Um, um, nothing." The brunette whispers.

You place your hands on your hips and glare down at them.

"Gosh, Bella!" The man exclaims laughing even harder.

"B-Bella?" You stutter. "Alice? Emmett?"

They stare at you.

"What's the matter?" You ask.

Suddenly you're pinned to the wall, Emmett's hands on your neck.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW US!" He screeches.

"TWILIGHT!" You scream back at him.

"What the heck is Twilight?" Alice asks.

You stare at her.

Then you start to laugh.

Your feet slide out from under you and Emmett lets go of your neck. You fall to the floor clutching your sides.

"How _don't _you know?" You gasp. "You guys are the main characters."

Suddenly you're in Alice's arms and you fly through the air.

You get nauseated.

As the dizziness clears you see a light room with pale men and women standing around.

"Edward?" You gasp.

He looks at you and then pushes Bella behind himself.

You explained to them and they took you to a spare bedroom. And that was when you got the idea.

   

Opening the window, you slowly lower yourself out. You run around the house and into the Cullen's garage, you thank your lucky stars that Emmett always leaves his keys under the tire.

You hop in the jeep and – even thought you're too young – you press down the petal and speed out into the driveway. You know you only have seconds before Alice sees you so you drive as fast as you possibly can.

You go to the costume shop in La Push.

**HA HA threw on at you, hugh! I bet u never expected to prank the Cullen's (and Bella) XD!!!!**

As you walk in you start to run looking around the isles until you find it.

Fake blood.

You look around for a while then find one that reads-

_Golly Gosh Fake Blood_

_Only $19.99_

_Even smells like real blood!!!_

You grab the bottle and pull out the spare change out of your pocket Twenty dollars even. True luck.

You hop back into Emmett's jeep and speed back to the Cullen house. You climb back through the window and hide the sealed bottle behind your back.

You walked down the living room – where all the Cullen's are sitting – and quickly twist the cap throwing the concoction over Edward covering him in a warm red coat of 'blood'.

You see all the vampires turn toward Edward (with the exception of Carlisle and Esme who are out hunting) to stare at the red blood glistening on his pale skin.

Bella, who was splattered a little bit, passed out.

You watch as Jasper lunges at Edward and pushes him to the ground Emmett zips over and starts to lick Edwards's hair.

When Edward is finally licked clean you fall to the floor laughing your butt off.

Poor, Poor Edward.

**Kay so this story might be done, maybe not… whatcha think? Ill try to set up a pole on my profile, anyways PLEASE, PLEASE READ MY OTHER STORY **_** PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **_ ** See, its BOLD **_italic__**and **_**underlined!!!!!**

**AAVl **

**Ayame Tasuki**


	20. iemmett

**Wow, I know this sucks. But I've been writing Angst-y stories lately and am SO not used to this funny business.**

**Anyway, sorry It's not that long. **

I held the camera up, carefully aiming it toward Alice and Emmett.

"Three, two, one," I mouthed.

They began…

"I'm Alice!"

"And I'm Emmett!"

"And this is iEmmett!!!"

I laughed, trying my hardest to keep the camera still, Emmett suddenly started to dance.

"RANDOM DANCING!" He screamed. Alice shrugged her shoulders and started to shake her hips. Emmett was doing a strange 80's dance that mad him look like he was about to wet himself.

"Today," Alice giggled. "We're going to stick our butt's in pig urine."

"Yes," Emmett agreed, wiggling his eyebrows at the camera. "Pig urine!"

They pulled off their pants, reveling pink Speedos. I laughed harder.

They slowly lowered themselves into the large buckets of yellow pig pee that Emmett had probably gotten from some illegal substance store.

I pressed a small button on my keyboard that said 'laughter' and was surprised to find that the room was suddenly filled with chuckles.

Wow, this thing was cool.

I pressed the 'Boo' button and Alice and Emmett's smiles faded, replaced by mock- sad faces.

I pressed my hand as hard as possible to my mouth, but it didn't work. I dropped the camera as I fell to the floor. Laughing insanely.

"Like, wow, Bella…" Emmett said. "You, like, need help, OMC."


End file.
